Inspire me with the smile like glow on your pretty face
HandWritten on; 2.02.2009
February 2, 2009 - 3:00 am, I've been awakened by my mom in the middle of the night. The reason? She got a text message from our family friend, actually, my ex-best friend's family. At 5:00 am, I heard mom talking to her friend over the phone (my friend's mom). Her husband is now currently on ICU and the condition is in 50:50. Sigh. That's a bad news, a bad news to begin my day. My mom went to the hospital (Chinese Gen. Hospital) first thing in the morning. I wanted to come with her but because of my stupid examinations today, i wasn't able. Though I had some misunderstandings before with my ex-best friend, her family never showed any sign of maltreatment to me. Her sister and I never cease of exchanging taunts, her mom's so sweet and her dad's too kind.
My friend (since childhood) and I we're best of friends before and I'm always at their house and vice versa. I used to have a sleepover there once in a while. I used to chitchat with her. I used to sit with her, her sister, and her dad in front of the TV set watching movies. I used to eat with them during meal times. I used to play with their dog though i'm afraid of cuddling it. Her mom and dad used to crack up some jokes and we'll all burst out laughing, I see them as a happy, loving, strong family. Most of all, I used to miss those times.
If you're curious of her dad's condition, well, her dad has an asthma and then had a thyroid problem (I think he already had this for years). Another thing was his intake of steroids without doctor's prescription. Everything worsen when his thyroid goes down to his heart and the kidney's not responding anymore. He needs a dialysis but because his blood pressure collapse, dialysis would be a risk. I don't know about further details, all I know is that his status is not in a great condition.
I placed myself on their situation and i don't think I can take it, to see my father breathing heavily with a life-support machine on his body, I can't. Their dad is the breadwinner, so as my father. Their mom is a housewife, and so as my mother. If ever their dad passed away (knock on wood), i'm not sure how will they move on aside from the emotional struggle, and how about their financial status? I don't know either. If i'm in their shoes, it would be very difficult for me to accept that bitter fact. All I could do for their family now is to pray for them.
Aside from that bad news, on the other hand, I took two exams today. I am now distressed because i'm not confident with both of my exam. Another item to be added on my prayer list. Sigh. Gaaah, I had another exam tomorrow, and this time it's a sure ball. I won't flunk the exam tomorrow. I'll strive harder for my family's sacrifice and trust on me. Such a good girl isn't it? I must be. :)
After a bad news and mind-boggling exams, is a provoking little argument with the bf. Pssh, but I won't tell the details anymore. We're both mood swingers remember? Sigh.
Lately, I've been so hapless. Nothing new, nothing good. Whenever I don't feel sad, that doesn't mean I'm happy either. Anyway, my life's abash as of the moment. I wanted to cry but I won't let it, I need to be strong myself to buck up others, not to be a burden for those who are extremely upset and anguish.
Woah, consecutive gloomy incidents that are happening to me. I hope one day I would wake up happily, contented, and worry-free. When will that happen? In my dreams! Pssh, these are all just a piece of cake, right? (And when did I learn sweet-lemoning, huh? lol)
Kidding aside, my day started with a bad news and I'm not sure how long will my struggles come to a halt but I won't allow it to have a grip on me. I'll be strong. I wish, i wish.
[xi] One of the worst days of my life.
[xii] Include my friend's family on your prayers. Thank you.
[xiii] If ever "that" happened to 'him', I'll miss 'him' for sure (you know what I mean).
My friend (since childhood) and I we're best of friends before and I'm always at their house and vice versa. I used to have a sleepover there once in a while. I used to chitchat with her. I used to sit with her, her sister, and her dad in front of the TV set watching movies. I used to eat with them during meal times. I used to play with their dog though i'm afraid of cuddling it. Her mom and dad used to crack up some jokes and we'll all burst out laughing, I see them as a happy, loving, strong family. Most of all, I used to miss those times.
If you're curious of her dad's condition, well, her dad has an asthma and then had a thyroid problem (I think he already had this for years). Another thing was his intake of steroids without doctor's prescription. Everything worsen when his thyroid goes down to his heart and the kidney's not responding anymore. He needs a dialysis but because his blood pressure collapse, dialysis would be a risk. I don't know about further details, all I know is that his status is not in a great condition.
I placed myself on their situation and i don't think I can take it, to see my father breathing heavily with a life-support machine on his body, I can't. Their dad is the breadwinner, so as my father. Their mom is a housewife, and so as my mother. If ever their dad passed away (knock on wood), i'm not sure how will they move on aside from the emotional struggle, and how about their financial status? I don't know either. If i'm in their shoes, it would be very difficult for me to accept that bitter fact. All I could do for their family now is to pray for them.
Aside from that bad news, on the other hand, I took two exams today. I am now distressed because i'm not confident with both of my exam. Another item to be added on my prayer list. Sigh. Gaaah, I had another exam tomorrow, and this time it's a sure ball. I won't flunk the exam tomorrow. I'll strive harder for my family's sacrifice and trust on me. Such a good girl isn't it? I must be. :)
After a bad news and mind-boggling exams, is a provoking little argument with the bf. Pssh, but I won't tell the details anymore. We're both mood swingers remember? Sigh.
Lately, I've been so hapless. Nothing new, nothing good. Whenever I don't feel sad, that doesn't mean I'm happy either. Anyway, my life's abash as of the moment. I wanted to cry but I won't let it, I need to be strong myself to buck up others, not to be a burden for those who are extremely upset and anguish.
Woah, consecutive gloomy incidents that are happening to me. I hope one day I would wake up happily, contented, and worry-free. When will that happen? In my dreams! Pssh, these are all just a piece of cake, right? (And when did I learn sweet-lemoning, huh? lol)
Kidding aside, my day started with a bad news and I'm not sure how long will my struggles come to a halt but I won't allow it to have a grip on me. I'll be strong. I wish, i wish.
[xi] One of the worst days of my life.
[xii] Include my friend's family on your prayers. Thank you.
[xiii] If ever "that" happened to 'him', I'll miss 'him' for sure (you know what I mean).